This is convoluted, but I will try to explain. Ever had a dream where in the dream you dreamed another dream? Ever had a dream where it was so real you wondered if you’d actually dreamed it or experienced it?
Twice, I recently had dreams like those. When I awoke, both times I knew it was a dream. However, in the dreams I experienced something that, in the dream, I wasn’t sure if I had dreamed it or experienced it.
In both instances, it involves real people I know. The first involved a gathering with a group of people in which I knew some, but didn’t know others. One of the women there was someone I have a broken relationship with. It was pleasant and I was able to start sharing my heart and then I woke up. It was bittersweet because the likelihood of that conversation taking place in real life does not seem to be very good.
The second dream involved someone I know now locally, but it wasn’t about her. In that dream, I saw my mother and my sister, who are both deceased. They looked well, happy, healthy. I had a brief interaction with each of them. But then, in the dream, as I was excitedly telling my current day friend that I had seen them, I wasn’t sure if I had really seen them or just dreamed that I had seen them.
Dreams can be confusing enough at times. When I dream that I was dreaming, even more so. I know dreams can be ways of processing real life things. Sometimes, when I ask God to show me what it’s about, He does. Not always, though.
In the first dream with the broken relationship, I think it just expresses the longing of my heart. I awoke with a very heavy heart because it reminded me of that very real broken relationship.
The second dream, I have no idea. I remember seeing my mother in a group of people who were passing by me. I was so shocked when I realized it was her it took me a few seconds to respond. I smiled and waved joyfully at her. I don’t remember if I gave her a quick hug or not. She looked younger, healthy and happy.
The group kept moving and I spotted my sister, also looking well and happy. Seeing my sister was a second shock, but after the first shock, I had recovered presence of mind to reach out and try to talk to her. I told her I was on my way to a recovery meeting and asked if she would like to go with me. She said she would. She, too, had been an alcoholic. But in the dream, she seems to have conquered it.
I don’t remember much about the specifics of the dream. My sister was several people behind our mom. They definitely were not together. I have no idea if they were aware of one another or not. If they were, perhaps they’d already made peace with one another.
My mother is dead and in the dream she looked younger than her death age. With my sister, there has always been that slight doubt because the body I saw just didn’t look like her. My parents insisted it was her, but it didn’t look like her to me. And there was weirdness that took place when I saw her body, like not being allowed to be alone with it. The circumstances of her death and the viewing her body were suspicious. I was always concerned that she had been trafficked away to get rid of her and her death faked so there would be no police report of her being missing.
It is possible that her being in the same group with my mother was a way of processing her death or even a way of G-d trying to let me know that she really is dead, which of course is most likely. I don’t know. Dreams are funny like that.
I don’t often remember dreams or even having dreamed anything. When I do remember, there’s usually a significance to them, but not always. The hardest part is when it impacts my emotions. When something in the dream, or even just having the dream, stirs up deep emotions, it is a struggle to overcome them after waking up.
I’m not one of those people who’s into a reading a book about all the symbolism of dreams and what they mean and all that. Those are the speculations of people. No, I prefer to ask God. I figure if there’s a significance oh, He will let me know. I will see if He reveals anything to me.