There is nothing like a possible negative test result to get you to do some soul searching.
Where am I in my life? Most importantly…my spiritual life? Am I as close to my Creator as I should be? As I want to be?
What have I done with/in my life? Was it my best? What kind of effort did I make? Was it all about pleasing people or pleasing my Creator? What is the condition of my relationship with my Creator? Is there intimacy? Or distance? Am I listening for His voice? Or ignoring/shutting it out? Am I fellowshiping with Him? Am I obedient? Or rebellious? Am I surrendering all of me to Him? Or am I holding on to part of me?
What are the most important things in life…especially now…today? Regardless of whether my focus in the past has been on the most important things, where is it now? Am I diligently striving to get as close to excellence as I can? Or am I settling for less?
If my days are fewer in number than I had anticipated, what will I do with them?
Having just finished the month of Elul, the Days of Awe and Yom Kippur, I had already been doing a lot of soul searching, especially in the area of the past year and the year to come. Where did I do well and what in my life needs more work?
Relationships is also a big part of that soul searching. I have asked Abba to show me anyone I need to forgive…not just from within the last year, but from my whole life. I have also asked Him to show me anyone from whom I need to ask forgiveness.
I also look at whether what I do – or say – really matters? Is it edifying and encouraging? Does it build people up? Help them in some way? Am I making a positive difference in my corner of the world? Or am I being negative? Am I bringing people down? Am I giving a frown or disapproving look? A dismissive look? Am I bringing life? Love? A kind word? A welcoming greeting? A friendly smile? What am I doing to lift other people’s burdens? What do I need to either start doing or improve on doing? What do I need to stop doing or change how I do it?
These are just some of the questions I have been pondering.
So, what about you? Have you given any thought to where you are headed in life? To where you have been in life? Are you making a difference? How would you answer the questions above? (You don’t have to share with me, but I hope you are thinking about it for yourself!)