Time never stops. We have a graduation ceremony behind us. It was really nice. Of course, this mom got teary. All went well, including a visit from my somewhat estranged father. I write “somewhat” because, although we have been in communication and I have received a couple of apologies, we are not close. I am not sure we will ever be close. That is G-d’s domain, not mine. I can only do what I can do. Forgiveness does not equal trust, but it does leave the possibility open. So much depends upon the other person.
My biggest challenge in life is getting organization out of chaos. It is easy for me to feel overwhelmed. I have been going through this for quite a while now. Then it hit me. I am overwhelmed because I am trying to do things that are not for me to do. They are not bad things, just not the right thing…not right now anyway.
I used to be driven by the verse that says I can do all things in Christ Jesus (Messiah Yeshua) who strengthens me. Thankfully, many years ago, Abba got hold of me and opened my eyes to see that it means I can do all the things HE has called me to do. Not all the things others put on me or that I needlessly put on myself. I can take things on because they “seem” to be the right/best thing to do. Yet, they are not. They are not for me.
This has led me to continue to work on figuring out how to bring order to my life, but at least I will now be looking with a greater willingness to let some good things go. Step by step, I want to be more and more surrendered to my L-rd until I am able to be used fully by Him. I want to be a better wife, truly serving my husband according to his needs…NOT according to what I want/need him to be. I can easily think I need him to be certain things that are not really about needs so much as they are about conveniences. Oh, what a selfish creature I can be. Abba, help me not to be!
I am working on praying more effectively…starting with a surrendered heart and a willingness to let go of my plans. There were two awesome things that led up to a change in my approach.
One was a trailer for the movie “War Room”. From the very first time I saw the trailer, I was convicted about how I am living my life. Here is the trailer:
Here is a short video on the heart of War Room:
But what also really pulled me up short was this short talk by Alex Kendrick about the Three Battles. Wow!
I hope you will watch these and that they will
convict bless you as much as they did me.