I’ve been in a battle

Lately, I have been fighting a battle. It is not that I have lost my faith. I haven’t. But the stresses of our situation have piled up and left me vulnerable once again to the darkness I have fought all my life. Whether it is old programming kicking in (my father did give me his contact info) or simply the things of current life (Dave being in pain, having little to no income to live on, son going to trial, being unable to take care of or maintain Beit-Shalom or???)

I have managed to make the office more usable. That will give me a bit of a much-needed “hideaway”. It is not a very comfy one, but it is very doable. I plan to keep working on it as I sort, toss and organize.

I relate to this jpeg from The Heart of the Rose blog. I want to be whole-hearted toward Him.

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About Abigail

We are a couple who loves the Creator...the G-d of the bible...Elohei Avraham, Yitzchak b'Ya'akov, who expresses Himself in many ways, including: Abba/Daddy/Father, Yeshua/Jesus/Son and Ruach HaKodesh/Holy Spirit.
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2 Responses to I’ve been in a battle

  1. Abigail, you are my dear sister in Mashiach and I love you dearly even though I do not know you much at all. I want to let you know that you ARE whole-hearted towards Him and He KNOWS your desires towards Him. Your situation is a very difficult one but unfortunately these things are given to us to make us more like HIM. Keep on holding on dear friend, keep on holding on to His LIGHT and promise – I know that it can be very difficult at times – I know very very well – but just take each moment and each step one at a time – I know that you have become an expert at this already. He doesn’t expect for you to move mountains all He wants is for you to believe that He is able to move your mountains for you – I pray for your well-being and wholeness dear sister and that of your beloved Dave. I also know how it feels to have someone you love in prison of course not my son and that must be very hard for a mother’s heart but just hold on to Him sweet Abigail, hold on to His Word and prmises of love. He will not leave you now no matter what the enemy may say to you – go ahead and create that retreat in your office no matter what the end result looks like make it your own space – you need it, you cannot be strong for everyone else without taking care of you first. I love you lots xxxxxx

    • Abigail says:

      Thank you so much for your encouraging words, dear sister Achama. They are a balm and touch me deeply. I know He is faithful. I wish I were more so. Yes, He knows my heart. He knows I want to be strong in Him…a living witness and testimony of His strength and love. I feel as if I fail. It is very hard to smile in the midst of the attacks and I am torn between being real and allowing people to see the struggle and trying to hide it behind a smile. I believe we are to be real in the body of Messiah. However, what most seems to be promoted is “buck up”. Believe, I would “buck up” better…if I could. I am already “bucking up” and have been for almost my whole life. When does the break come? Probably not until eternity. I will have to wait. I CAN wait. For I know my Messiah is with me every step of the way.

      XXXXXXXX

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